Even before a baby is born, they can sense emotions as hormones are released and muscles tighten.
The baby can hear the muffled intensity and volume of a voice or other loud sounds. Ask anyone who has been pregnant how active the baby becomes during emotionally tense situations or in response to the foods and chemicals consumed by the mother.
After the baby is born, it appears that the baby recognizes the mother’s or father’s voice, as infants are known to turn their heads in the direction of a parent when they speak. When held against a mother’s or father’s chest, the baby is soothed by the beat of the parent’s heart and the parent’s gentle humming. They are comforted by gentle, confident rocking or swaying.
As a child grows through toddlerhood, they do not understand much of what they see or hear.
However, they can pick up on strong emotions and animated or loud voices. A child may witness behavior that is confusing and frightening or that provides security and comfort.
When a child is very young, they do not understand the emotions they are feeling. A very young child does not have enough words or language to express those emotions or concerns. This is when they are most vulnerable and without agency.
The world and experiences of a child up to about eight or nine years old are very limited. Daily life is lived within the confines of the home, yard, perhaps childcare, the neighborhood, and occasional outings. The people in their lives are generally limited to family members, other familiar adults, and some children.
At this stage, a child does not have the references or experience to make sense of what is happening to them or around them.
They believe who their parents tell them they are and may not begin to consider for themselves who they are until much later in life. Sometimes that takes a lifetime.
- They assume that every household is like theirs
- That all children are treated the way they are treated,
- That all families are like theirs,
- That all children are being raised the way they are being raised.
This is why birth to eight years old is the most important period of development.
Within that time frame, children learn who they are from the consistent adults in their lives. They learn whether they are valued and whether their feelings, thoughts, and needs matter. They learn whether the world is a good place or a bad place. They learn about their place in the world from their parents and family. They learn right from wrong based on their parents’ admonitions, praise, instruction, and their own limited experience.
The outside world with its ideologies and events does not exist to them unless a parent introduces it or other adults tell them about it.
Even then, it often lacks meaning. They learn from their parents what to expect from others in the wider world.
Unless a traumatic or tragic event invades their small existence, children assume such things do not happen anywhere else either. Even then, they may not truly understand and will simply mimic what they see and hear at home. If Mommy and Daddy do or say something, that is what they will do as well.
It is the responsibility of parents, families, and other caregivers to be intentional about what a child will carry into adulthood.
About who that child will become and how they will interact with the world. During this period, the foundation is formed from which all future experiences and events will be evaluated, measured, and acted upon.
The actions your child takes will reflect how they were raised, their defining experiences, including any mental illness, trauma, or influences within the home that imprint upon them. Everything that happens in the home affects the child.
How will a child internalize the understanding that they are valuable, capable, and able to overcome the challenges that will inevitably require resilience and confidence?
This process must begin at birth and be continually nurtured. Think of a block of clay. At first, it is simply a firm mass, smooth and untouched. With every word, experience, or event, it is kneaded and molded into a new form, with dents and shapes imprinted.
Eventually, that clay hardens, and the work becomes permanent. Each time this hardened piece encounters outside forces, it may chip, crack, or break. If it was well crafted, however, it will remain firm in the form the artist or parent designed it to be.
How will you craft your child’s future?
What do you want imprinted on their little hearts and minds? Is it about your wants, wishes, and needs? Being a good parent or caregiver means setting those aside or keeping them in proper proportion for the sake of your child’s future.
#parenting #raising kids #teaching kids to be successful #importance of family #child behavior